About Me

The Life and Times of a Barbecue Snob


I take my barbecue seriously.

Robert King has always been fascinated with authentic southern food and down home cooking and has carried that over to Schmittys BBQ. Want to make me cringe? Just tell me your secret family recipe for “barbecuing” ribs that the first step involves boiling them in water. If my eye starts twitching before I say anything just bow and say “I will not boil any ribs oh master” 3 times while facing the south and all will be forgiven.

Remember this:

  • Pulled pork does not come in a tub with sauce at the grocery store.
  • There is no such thing as a McShizzle Rib sandwich. Sorry it’s pressed meat.
  • If you bake meat and put some sauce on it that is not called barbecue. It’s called oven meat with sauce.
  • It’s Done When It’s Done! Yes, I have to have the food ready on time when we are catering but if I’m cooking for you at my place and you ask that I will just shove a beer in your hand, make you sit down and tell me the story about how when you were in college you ran neked down your friends street wearing nothing but a tutu.
  • Real chili is made without beans.
  • Pecan Pie is prounounced “Pah Cahn” not “Pee Can” You pee in a can but eat Pah Cahn pie.
  • I better stop before the crowds start coming with the pitchforks. The wife just called me a food snob. Can’t figure out why?

Now turn off those crockpots and go outside, dig a hole and cook a pig in it. Your neighbors will appreciate it!